The Ketsup Room: Malaprops Abroad

The word for Water is AIR. Pronounced: eye-EAR
The Balinese word for Money is PISS…bringing oxymoron to the state of being ‘piss poor’.

I sat down eager to order stir-fried Morning Glory with Balacan (shrimp paste). Evan ordered AIR MINUM (bottled water); they brought us 2 plates of AYAM, sweet & sour chicken. We shrugged & ate it. Everyone laughed & the service became very attentive.
(It has been virtually impossible to remain a vegetarian here.)

I’ve tried to ask—casually, knowingly—Dimana kamar kecil? (Where’s the bathroom?), and instead (I’m told) carefully inquired: “In what era is the ketsup room?” The waitress pointed out the toilet.

Hoping to be polite, I parroted back the manly night guard’s, “Selamat malam, ibu” ("Good-evening, ma’am.") Which also made everyone snort into their sleeves. But hey: if it’s laughter that precedes understanding here, I’m comfortable with the learning curve.